Wednesday, March 12, 2008

The Curse of the Military Wife

I know you are probably thinking "curse? what curse? we are strong and independent and courageous. what are you talking about?" Yes we are strong, we are courageous, and we are independent. Our curse lies in our independence. As a military wife we are often left alone while our husbands are training or deployed or attending a school here or there. We are forced to become these strong and independent creatures. But are we too independent for our own good? Part of being a strong person is knowing when we have had enough. We need to know when to ask for help. And to actually pick up the phone and call someone to ask for their help. We need to know that we are not expected to be the backbone of the entire military! Our family depends on us but they expect that we will need help from time to time. Ask your hubby, i bet he doesn't expect you to do it all on your own. He knows that sometimes you will need help. Even if the help you need is a babysitter so you can have dinner with a friend. Or maybe you need someone to help you organize a room in your house that just seems over run with stuff. I bet if you pick up the phone friends are on the other end waiting on you. I've said it before and i'll say it again.....Your friends want to be a help and a blessing to you....don't take that opportunity from them. Don't be so independent and strong that you never need anyone! You are not Hercules....get that world off your shoulders and allow the rest of us to bless you! I know many wives who try to do it all. I often try to do it all. We use excuses like "i'm new here. i don't know many people yet." or "my hubby is hurt and i have kids and so much to do, i can't burden another with my problems." or even "i've been doing this for years on my own, why do i need help now." Well, let me tell are not a burden to others. Most times people know you have an injured hubby, kids, a house to run, a family who needs you at your best. We WANT to help but we don't know your needs. We don't know what one thing (or limits) we can do that will brighten your day and make you feel less stressed. If you need your house dusted and vacuumed....tell me! If i am nearby i'll do it! If you would like a nice meal but have 3 dr's appointments to run to and 3 kids to homeschool and you do not want takeout again call a friend! Or better yet....if you know a person who is in this situation and you are able to make a nice meal for them.....surprise them and drop off a homecooked healthy meal for their family. That one act of kindness may be the one thing that makes them smile! Or if you know someone who is somewhat new to town and has kids but never gets a night out (hubby deployed or not) offer to babysit for them. Give them that break they need! You will also find that by being that helper in their lives you feel stronger in your own life. And you will see that you have been blessed as much as they have. Then you will see that you really can't take that blessing from another!