From Struggling to Surviving

Lately it seems that everywhere I turn I find wives whose husbands have recently been deployed. As in since the first of this year, very recently. They all seem to have the same question, How do you do this? I'm struggling, how do you do this? I so wish there was a simple, magical answer to that question. I wish I could just tell you "well, ya know, I do this and this and this and I'm all good now." But I can't. The truth is, deployment is hard. It's hard on those of us left behind here at home. We see everything around us and something always reminds us of the one we love. It's hard on our soldiers. They miss us, they want to be home. They want to just hold us close to them. We want to be held close to them. There is no magical answer that will make everything all better. It does get easier as time goes by. Well, maybe easier is the wrong word. I'd say it gets manageable as time goes by. Everyone always says "Stay Busy!" And as lame as it sounds, it's true. Staying busy does help the time to pass more quickly. Planning things to do in advance helps too. My girls and I try to plan something fun once a month so we have something to look forward to every few weeks. Right now we are planning Kaitlyn's birthday party. It's in February. March we will do something for St. Patrick's Day, maybe a party for them and their friends. April is MY birthday. May is R&R, June is Keliah's birthday, July we go home for a visit, August we start school shopping, September school starts, October is Halloween, etc, etc. That has been a tremendous thing for us! We go to church every Sunday. Getting up and doing this one thing gives me strength for the week. Talking to my hubby every week gets me through too. There's nothing like a phone call to make me smile for a few days. Looking back over the first 4 months of this deployment, I'd say that I am surviving now because of the little things everyday. I know we don't all have kids to plan things with, but we do have friends. And we don't all live in military communities. So not everyone understands what we are going through. But we do have online support systems. My online friends have become some of the biggest assets to my life. I know it's a struggle at first. I've been there. But over the first couple months you do come to find that the small things in life and the monotony of everyday life, strengthens you in many ways. I have noticed recently that I have really come to rely on my daily routine. It's almost as if doing what I do every single day makes each day ok and livable. Another thing I have found that has given me untold amounts of strength is helping others. I donate to those in need. I talk to people who just need someone to listen. I do anything I find that I can do to help someone who needs it. Seeing others smile makes me smile. I pray that you can each find what gives you strength in your life so you can stop struggling and start surviving.

Written by: Kim